Is Happiness A Choice?

Jason Daly
6 min readJun 19, 2020
Is Happiness A Choice

Let me ask you something? Is happiness a choice? Can people really choose to feel happy or not?

There are conflicting studies and opinions about general happiness and choosing to be happy. Both arguments have merit, but the truth seems to be somewhere in the middle.

There are certain conditions that do affect one’s ability to choose happiness such as depression and other mood disorders. Some people have difficulty controlling emotions, but it’s a skill that can be learned with practice.

Choosing to be happy may seem difficult, but there are things most people can do to increase their level of happiness.

Before jumping right in and learning ways to increase happiness, you need to learn about conditions that may make it difficult to will yourself to be happy. Depression and other mood disorders, ADHD, PTSD, a disability, grief, or poverty make choosing to be happy more challenging.

If you are dealing with any of these issues, there are still practical ways you can increase your happiness, but it may be more difficult. Keep in mind that change takes time, but it is achievable.

Choosing To Be Happy


Choosing to be happy is more than just willing yourself to feel happy. Part of it is thinking positively and thinking happy thoughts, but there are also more practical ways to make yourself happier.

Studies have identified several factors of happiness: social relationships, temperament or your ability to adapt, money, society and culture, and positive thinking styles.

Temperament is partly genetic, but it can still be improved with practice. Below you will learn about some things that you can do in each area to make yourself happy.

Improve Social Relationships

Be Happy

Improve current relationships by reaching out more often, opening lines of communication about past negative experiences, forgiving or seeking forgiveness, or making more time for your friends and family.

Make an effort to make new friends. Take on a new hobby, take a class, join a club, or go to different places in order to meet new people. You can also reach out to others online through social media or dating apps. Don’t be afraid to talk to new people and exchange phone numbers with people you get along with.

Invite friends and family members out for lunch, shopping, or have them over for coffee. Reach out. It can be tempting to wait for others to make the first move so be bold and take the initiative yourself; I’m sure your friends and family will truly appreciate you making the effort to reach out to them.

Improve Temperament And Adaptation

Choose To Be Happy

Practice pausing before you react to something. Give yourself a moment to get your emotions in check so that you respond in the way that you really want to rather than having an outburst.

This is a skill that can have a profound effect on both you and those around you; no-one likes to be around someone who gets moody or angry at the drop of a hat.

So, when something triggers you, pause, take a breath and think about how you would want someone to treat you in this situation.

Learn deep breathing techniques. You can try some guided meditation if you like, but you don’t need to over-complicate this. Mindfulness is a really great way to be calm and in the present.

Try to be more open to other people’s ideas and practice letting go of your need to control.

Improve Your Finances

Happiness Is A Choice

Increase your income by finding a new job, asking for a raise, or taking on a second job. This is not always easy and can be risky, but could definitely be worth it in the long run.

Improve your education so that you can find a better paying jobs. Learning new skills isn’t just for school and the happiest and most successful people are constantly learning new things to help them grow.

Be open to other career paths. It’s very easy to become comfortable in your career, but is it really what you want to do? Being stuck in a job/career that doesn’t inspire you can be a real drain on your happiness; it’s not just about money, but the sense of fulfillment you get out of what you do.

Look for things you can do to earn a passive income. This is where the internet can come in to play.

There has never been a better time to start an online business and this could just be a side hustle to help you make a mortgage or car payment and if you can set up a business with a recurring monthly payment for customers, all the better.

Pay off debt or avoid taking on debt. if you have any debt, but especially large amounts of debt, this should be an absolute priority for you before anything else. This can be quite painful to begin with but you must take responsibility and deal with it and by doing so, you can feel much happier about yourself.

Set a budget and stick with it so you can have money to do the things that are important to you. Linked to the point above about debt, stop spending money that you don’t have on things you don’t need!

Embrace Or Change Society And Culture


Embrace local culture and society if they’re a positive influence in your life. Learn, explore, and enjoy your environment and the people you share it with.

Don’t be afraid to change your environment or seek change in your current one. Do what you can to be a positive influence. Stand up for what you believe in and speak out against social injustice.

Positive Thinking

Choose Happiness

Choose a positive mantra and repeat it several times a day. Positive thinking may feel and sound a little cliched but it does work to put you in a better frame of mind.

Keep a gratitude journal or make a list of things you’re grateful for. Gratitude is really powerful and you do have a lot to be grateful for.

Here is an article about the science of gratitude and if you really want to take your gratitude practice to the next level, then take a look at the Grateful Mind training here as it is a fantastic course all about using gratitude in your life.

Make sure you’re not practicing negative self talk, and if you are, change your inner monologue.

Watch comedies and do other things that will make you laugh more. Laughter really is the best medicine 😁

Practice smiling even when you don’t feel like it. People smile because they’re happy, but people also become happier when smiling.

You can choose to be happy, but it’s more than just saying “I’m happy”.

Choosing to be happy is about figuring out what will make you happy and then making a decision to take action to achieve your desire.

Choosing to be happy is choosing to focus on the good in your life, and having the courage to make changes in your life that will lead you to more happiness. You have options and you can choose to be happy.